𝔞𝔷𝔲𝔯𝔢𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔤𝔴𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔬𝔩𝔶𝔫 𝔨𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔞𝔫 🕷️🍂

the most entitled, manipulative people always spend the most time crediting their bootstrap theory of dogged determination and positive thinking to whatever situation they happen to be in.

and then get so angry when anyone taints their luck with negative thoughts and feelings.

"don't infect me with your buzzkill," they say. "i can't afford to allow that energy around me to pollute the magical thinking and sheer magnificent will that makes good things somehow just materialize, for reasons that have nothing to do with my sense of personal entitlement!"

no, you cunt. everything you have is something you got from the goodwill of others, same as the rest of us.

and nobody else fucking wants what you have. get over yourself. least of all your ungracious attitude about the people who give you everything and receive only scorn.

you are only here today because of the people who loved you, cared about your well-being in a way that you will never learn to love or care for another. people who sacrificed without asking anything in return because they didn't want to see you hurt.

you are no self-made genius.

seriously, this is straight-up donald trump toxin. this is the reason why she just dismissed her two most vulnerable partners on a whim, because of "respecting time."

when i say there's something broken with her relationship to humanity, there are worse places to begin plumbing.

i mean

i still think she's neat as hell. there are reasons we became friends.

she just has this fatal disconnect where she can't fully understand that other people are real and deserve the same care and consideration that she does.

it's almost innocent, this hole in her comprehension.

like, she doesn't act maliciously. she acts without seeming to understand what's wrong with her behavior.

and from what she has told me, this seems to have been a factor in many past bad breakups, where she just legitimately could not understand what the other person was telling her about how she was hurting them.

it's really something to be so deeply in love with someone who, without intending to be mean as-such, seems fundamentally incapable of understanding why your feelings should matter.

and for one so used to abusive situations, it's so easy to keep making excuses for them...

until you harsh their vibes one time too many—say, by getting depressed over your creeping loss of autonomy—and they start accusing you of leading them on, making them think you were cool and were with them on this "good feels only" success train.

there's a middle class white dude way of thinking—i'm not misogynist, i don't hate women; i'm not racist, i don't hate black people—that you would think a transfeminine disability activist would be more sensitive to in her own thoughts and behaviors. this inability to listen.

whereas she turned on me for "fooling her" into thinking i was more confident than i am, accusing me of "breaking her trust" because of how hopeless and miserable i've been feeling lately, beyond my hurt and rage i mostly feel disappointment with how small a person she is.

like. i really thought she cared about things beyond herself. i thought she was working off of higher principles, trying to chip away at making a better and more compassionate world for everyone—rather than just whining about how her right to endless fun is being disrespected.

i mean i knew how she was, and i loved her anyway because love isn't a conditional thing. but this was really another level of something amazing.

true galaxy brain solipsism, going on with this chick. this detachment from a basic level of humanity isn't something you can repair.

the (absolutely fucking absurd) record seems to suggest she's been blindly stumbling around, hurting people who cared about her by the dozens, for decades now—refusing to recognize any pain but her own, all the while blinking in wonder that anyone could possibly be angry with her

each time opening the door for the next wave of "uwu, i'm so cute and bewildered and harmless and tired [insert wheelchair joke], i don't understand why people keep making mean things up about me. hey, would you like to see my literal etchings? ha, i kid! ain't i adorably droll!"

and whatever she does, it will play as genuine because it's not like she ever tried to hurt people's feelings; she literally cannot understand why everyone keeps telling her how much she's hurting them. if they're feeling hurt, surely that's their problem to deal with, not hers.