this is my ex-girlfriend precisely.
it's pathological, once you get past that bubbly mask she puts onβ
this cold, stunted, dehumanizing attitude dressed up in the language of hope and joy.
my little brother is right; beyond the surface details, she is basically the anti-azure.
cruelty casually deployed from on high, packaged with the most rigorous market-tested positive signaling value, like she's doing you a favor and now expects gratitude.
it really really sucks.
she really really sucks.
even if it takes a while to realize just how much she's fucking with you, denying the value of every feeling you have.
again with memory of how she marveled and wondered and mocked me for my emotional openness and lack of any kind of a false front.
she couldn't wrap her head around someone just being genuine, saying what they mean, not having any sort of agenda or goal in the words they choose.
...
well.
i think ultimately it's on me for inviting someone like that into my life.
as i say, it's not like i didn't see the red flags before i ever said a word to her. i just didn't know how to read the things that i saw, so i put aside judgment in mind of fairness and curiosity.
this is how we learn, i suppose.
and now i have language for all those subtle warnings, and i know all the better to listen to my inner "uh-oh"βeven if i don't yet understand what i'm seeing.
azurelore is a smart girl. and generous. if she says something is off, it probably is.