i feel like my issue with "player-sexual" characters is that they never feel like their gender or sexuality are lived-in identities. or they don't even HAVE specific identities so that any headcanon is fair game. they're like madlibs romantic partners waiting for the player to ascribe /their/ (the player's) preferences to them in lieu of an actual specific identity that is tied to their story.
there's a really interesting side thing here - ace rep in games. A lot of games view sexual intimacy as the win condition for a relationship with NPCs, the be all-end all. In Fallout, for instance, at max companion affinity it triggers a conversation. Even if you say "let's be best friends", if the NPC is a romance-able companion, it will continue to re-trigger the dialogue till you agree to romance. In the attempt to prevent players from missing out on "maximum success" and a literal xp bonus for sleeping with your partner, the choice to be ace is repeatedly ignored.
The one game that comes to mind that has some nice ace stuff is Hades, with Dusa. Over the course of her and Zagreus's relationship, she says that, while she thinks of Zagreus as a great friend, she is "just not attracted to [Zagreus] in that way". They move forward as friends, and continue to have meaningful moments.
