balketh

Eggbug was here. Eggbug mattered.

Goblin Party @ My Brain 24/7 | A week shy of 33 before Cohost closed. Cis, ACAB forever, Trans Rights Are Human Rights forever.

RIP Cohost 2024. You were the best social media site to have ever been done. Long live eggbug. If you're seeing this in the future, on some archive, be kind to others. It's the only way things get better.

Links in bio.



Emil is the jackass who specifically chooses not to develop with design documents, and thinks writing a good story is a waste of time. Starfield isn't bad because 'making games are hard'. Starfield is bad because Emil consistently has really bad ideas about game design, and his writing is garbage.

This coming on the back of learning that Chris Avellone Obsidian Entertainment (fuck Chris, put him up there with Brian Fargo as actual real-life pieces of shit above and beyond the sole scope of this chost - game design.) pitched multiple Fallout: New Vegas style games to Bethesda as side-games, and Bethesda turning them all down.

Really. You've gotta be fucking kidding me.


Like, sorry, you mean you turned down an attempt at repeating one of the most highly regarded games to come out in the game engine and IP of your company? The highest ranking game in terms of percentage of positive reviews on Steam of your entire company catalogue? Higher than every single game you've released or had your hand in since then? Literally offered, repeatedly, on a silver platter, multiple games in both IPs of your company to fill the void between unnecessarily long development cycles of your mediocre games? Literally free money for you and your company? Your company turned that down? Why? Is it because Emil can't stand being upstaged in every facet of his work? Upstaged by a smaller team with less resources and far less time making a game that is still better than anything you've made since it was released? Mm. Sounds like Emil's a real dogshit game designer/writer/team lead.

Every game he's touched, genuinely, has been made worse for it. Can't say that for certain about Thief 2, since he was only a junior designer there, but... It didn't exactly go well for the company, despite good initial reception. Bloodmoon was far from the most enjoyable area of TES3, the least well written of the three main stories, and not even the better of the two expacs. The Dark Brotherhood questline in Oblivion was, despite being 'fan favourite' because it supported murderhoboing, unfinished, uninspired, but they were at least fun little snippets of gameplay (almost like he was better with the extreme constraints of being a team member, not a team lead, much like Todd). Fallout 3's entire fucking story was dogshit, and Emil+Todd are directly responsible for the god-awful shit that is the main narrative thread in Fallout 3, among all of its other problems. ("YOU AGAIN!" - no really just watch Hbomberguy's Fallout 3 and New Vegas videos if you really want to know exactly how shit of a game designer/writer Emil is - almost all of the problems are Emil's fault.)

Skyrim's story was shit. Its main story and major faction writing was uninspired shit. The most interesting parts of Skyrim were the connections it had to The Elder Scrolls as a set of lore, which weren't his doing at all - in fact, I'd wager he was responsible for crushing most of that connection. Skyrim sold well because it was about as Generic a fantasy game as you could get, with untold modding capability on top. Nothing about Skyrim's success was Emil's doing - especially when the two major factions in the game are racist nationalist purists OR racist world-ending colonizers. Great writing, Emil! In fact, Emil's influence on Skyrim is part of the huge downward spiral Bethesda is in now - remove mechanics and ideas that don't work right the first time, never revisit them, insert his own stupid ideas about what makes a Bethesda game good (despite extensive evidence to the contrary), wonder why those design decisions aren't award winning.

Fallout 4 sucked worse than Fallout 3, despite improvements. It sold many copies because of Skyrim. That's all there is to it. The writing is, by far, the worst in Bethesda history at its time of release - how the fuck do you go from the awful premise, story, and conclusion of Fallout 3, and decide to make even worse decisions about the narrative and motivation of your character in Fallout 4? The extremely-easily-guessed plot hole in the intro to the game persists for a majority of the game's playtime, and never once was it thought to be resolved into less ludonarratively dissonant motivation with maybe one of the dozen mandatory dialogues in the game?? WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THAT EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE MOTIVATED TO FIND A BABY IN A WASTELAND? There are SO MANY PROBLEMS with this premise! And the design of the gameplay? Well, let's just say, Fallout 4 is not renown for its innovative and polished gameplay design, what with its critically panned decision to have a fully voiced protagonist, attempts to integrate a mobile device as a second screen, dogshit arrow/spellcast-style 'gun'play, and now-traditional optional-half-baked-subsystems that took up too much devtime.

Fallout 76 speaks for itself. Bethesda knew, all over, that it was a bad game, even before release. Todd literally admits it (in the language of Interview Speak), and its updates haven't, and won't, save it from being a fundamentally badly designed game. Yet another situation where Emil's staunch, gut-instinct decision to not have NPCs in an IP known for its well-written and compelling characters, from a company known in part for its interesting NPC-filled worlds, stands out as a clear indicator that Emil Pagliarulo is fucking abysmal at game design and writing.

And then there's Starfield. His latest wet shit. Star "They're Totally Not Dragonshouts" 'Dragonshouts In The Game Code' Field. Starfield is badly designed and written game. It is a bad example of a game. No, enjoying playing the game does not make it a well designed/well written game. Enjoying Starfield does not make you a bad person, just that you might like trash things, and that's fine, but also not a widely shared belief. It does not stop Starfield from being a bad game. It runs poorly, it's terribly designed (in pretty much... Every aspect), it's terribly written - shallow, pedantic, misguided, unresolved, with a piecemeal story written in isolation and entirely out of sync with all its gameplay components, unlinked and put through the blender of development changes, with a number of interesting stories and premises that are entirely left to the wayside for an uninspired, boring, toe-deep take on what amounts to an unnecessarily long and barren roguelike.

He's not left the company yet, which means he's working on TES6, which means there's literally no hope for this game being good, unless Todd has already identified Emil as the core of the problem and excised him somehow, internally or otherwise.

I have no hope for TES6; I'm always welcoming a miracle, but I'm not holding my breath.

It is objectively morally correct to pirate Bethesda games. I hope Starfield is the thing that ruins the company long-term. I hope it is ash in their mouths by the time TES6 comes around, and they've so little good will left to burn that maybe they'll consider doing things differently.


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in reply to @balketh's post:

Starfield is slop that is relatively easy to consume and i am the target audience for that but it did not hit home. I had more fun playing Fallout 76, it at least knows what it is and isn't ashamed of it.

Yep! 100%. A game doesn't have to be a well-designed game to be enjoyed, but it can at least do us the courtesy of not gaslighting us trying to convince us it's something it's not. I like slop. I like fun slop! I like slop with bad gameplay and fun lore.

I hate mass-produced slop that is bad, tries to convince you it's good, sells well on brand name alone which convinces the slopmakers that it succeeded in lying to us that it was good, and will, I guarantee, will be a dead product long before their next slop comes down the chute.

No /s, so I'll assume it's genuine and laughing with me/etc; I'm glad you enjoyed reading! I love these games. I try my best to genuinely understand the difficulties of it all. But seeing one of my favourite series tank b/c of a tiny handful of fuckwits drives me up teh wall.

There was no /s and I am very glad that you read it that way. Sorry I'm a little high right now and I just kinda nodded my head and giggled every couple of paragraphs and then left my comment in that mood!

Yes! Positive!

From my perspective, the only experience I have with these games is other people playing them and having difficulty installing horny mods and not really being interested in the game outside of stuff other people made, so I was gonna treat Skyrim like some kinda unregulated Roblox or something.

I watched that Hbomberguy video you linked, as well as some videos about Fallout 76 and stuff, and then I read yours, and it's like a shared fiction to me. No skin in the game.

Loved reading what you wrote! Felt like how I felt 12 years ago watching some angry youtube reviewer! haha Nostalgia!

Yeah I got that guy-shouts-about-video-games vibe for sure! ^-^; I'm glad you enjoyed reading, and I'm glad you've got no skin in the game - that's the better way to be, for sure. I also recommend HBomb's Fallout New Vegas video, b/c it's one long comparison between FNV and F3/other Beth games that really sells just how fucking awful Emil is as a gamedev.

Yes, go off. Decades of games not being treated seriously as a story telling medium and we still have people actively sabotaging games to be as bland as wonderbread.

Also, more people need to insult Fallout 3. I hear people defending it like, no the writing is that bad actually.

Hbomberguy did it best - they might be hours-long, but I'll always recommend his Fallout 3 is Garbage And Here's Why, and his Fallout New Vegas Is Genius And Here's Why videos as great essays on the topic of Why F3 Is Dogshit.

I remember that video, it was so funny. I also remember someone posted a like two hour long rebuttal to it, and then someone else posted an EIGHT HOUR rebuttal to that video. I'm just here thinking guys you spent more time ruminating on the meaning of Fallout 3 than the developers did. 😭

I actually liked that 2 hour rebuttal, it made some pretty fun points, and helps too that it was focused more on the little moments and that it is "not as bad as you think" rather than claiming it is really good.

Not touching that 8 hour video with a ten foot pole though.