Featuring such innovative newness never before played as
<reads smudged ink on sweaty hand>
The same shitty base building from Fallout 4! And
<reads further>
A spaceflight model that has been outdated for [Today's Date] - [Freelancer (PC) Release Date] years! And and and! NEVER BEFORE PLAYED
<nothing further to read, sweats profusely>
You can meet a past version of yourself in new game plus!
...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN MORROWIND DID THAT IN 2001 WHEN YOU MEET THE FAILED INCARNATIONS OF THE NEREVARINE?! WHAT-
<is pulled off stage with prejudice>