• he/they

It's a horrible day on the Internet, and you are a lovely geuse.

Adult - Plants-liking queer menace - Front-desk worker of a plural system - Unapologetic low-effort poster

✨ Cohost's #1 Sunkern Fan(tm) ✨

[Extended About]

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Three pixel stamps: a breaking chain icon in trans colors against a red background, an image of someone being booted out reading "This user is UNWELCOME at the university", and a darkened lamppost.(fallen london stamps by @vagorsol)



so, I have healed many an Aurum Vale in my time. (mogstone grind season baybee! and also helping people escape ARR dungeon purgatory.) I have seen a broad spectrum of spiciness, from "tank knows the trick to pulling the first room safely and uses mitigations AND everyone eats their veggies on time without prompting" to "patiently explaining to the tank what tank stance is and what mitigations are AND patiently explaining to the DPS how to see your debuffs so you know when to eat the morbol fruit, only to see the DPS run past the fruit that's right next to them to try to eat the one next to the tank, and taking an entire cleave to the face for it."

for the most part, I do not mind the spicy runs! people are learning and I am happy to be a gentle facilitator for that learning provided they are cool. it is generally quite hard to phase me - once you've healed enough and seen Some Shit it just becomes your tuesday again meme.

that being said, there is still one Aurum Vale run I've healed that makes me go WTF to this day.

I was helping my partners* level uhhh either monk or ninja out of ARR purgatory, and @himochi tagged along for the ride on bard. we queued in and got a tank who was Mostly Normal

except

they stood. in every Bad Breath. EVERY ONE OF THEM. they avoided the other AoEs just fine! but they kept STANDING IN THIS ONE SPECIFICALLY.

after about the fourth go-around of laborously esuna'ing every debuff off of them, I threw my hands up and asked my partners and Mochi if they'd be cool with me just letting the tank die if we got to the final boss and they did it again. they were like "lmao yeah, go for it." we got to the last boss, and... sure enough, the tank stood in the freaking Bad Breath again. this time I just let the debuffs eat them, and when they died, Mochi - being the giant Gamer that he is - just kited the boss around and around the room and we killed it without issue.

that remains, to this day, the most baffling run of that dungeon I have ever had. like, WHY?? it takes zero effort to avoid the AoE if you're in melee range (which they always were, as a tank) and clearly they knew what AoEs meant and could see them. my sibling in Hydaelyn, did you think eating a bunch of annoying debuffs and making the healer stop DPS to esuna you seven times was some kind of neat uptime trick? was this some kind of "I'm tank so I can do what I please" ego trip? did you just SOMEHOW not know what it does?? I just don't know!

*context for those wondering how tf we fit five people into a four-player duty: they're two folks from the same plural system.


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in reply to @bazelgeuse-apologist's post:

It's wild because I feel like Bad Breath is the one attack where it is SUDDENLY AND VERY LOUDLY OBVIOUS you fucked up! Maybe one debuff you can miss but how do you miss being suddenly 59 times slower and more useless?!

Love getting to kite the Aurum boss though. I did that one solo the first time so it's always very familiar.

Bonus factoid I wish to make sure you're armed with: eating a Morbol Fruit (which you'll notice the last boss has a lot of...) instantly cures the entire morbol breath debuff list.

This factoid brought to us by ARR players suffering under the boot of Latency Which Is BAD, who got to plan around "well if walking out is impossible then I guess I'm gonna be snacking" but I presume if This Guy's problem was latency there would have been signs of it before, during or after the halitosis vaping. How absolutely puzzling....