• he/they

It's a horrible day on the Internet, and you are a lovely geuse.

Adult - Plants-liking queer menace - Front-desk worker of a plural system - Unapologetic low-effort poster

✨ Cohost's #1 Sunkern Fan(tm) ✨

[Extended About]

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Three pixel stamps: a breaking chain icon in trans colors against a red background, an image of someone being booted out reading "This user is UNWELCOME at the university", and a darkened lamppost.(fallen london stamps by @vagorsol)



true to the disaster queer stereotypes, here are my phases of realizing I Like someone in That Way

  • "I enjoy this person's company a lot. being with them is fun!"
  • "oh man but like, I really like this person a lot! they're so sparkly and fascinating and I could spend HOURS listening to them and they lift my spirits by just existing and aaaaa"
  • "this person's presence has become a highlight of my daily life, I am constantly looking forward to the next time we hang out and I get all kinds of giddy to get a message from them. maybe I mope a little when we're not together. maybe I daydream about the next time we'll be together. this is a totally normal way to feel about someone."
  • (I consider the idea that I may be attracted to them for about a millisecond before punting it into the void and forgetting about it)
  • "why does thinking about this person hurt. why... does the pain feel GOOD?!"
  • "...oh."
  • *ANGRY SCREAMING AND SWEARING*
  • "maybe if I sit really still and really quiet these scary Irrational And Inconvenient Feelings will go away"
  • I get tired of sitting really still and really quiet and opt instead for the "ripping off the band-aid" approach, ergo outright telling the person that (a) I Like them, (b) I will not be offended if they do not return my feelings and do not expect them to do anything in return, and (c) everything can just be as it was before, unless they're uncomfortable in which case it's okay for them to put distance between us

I'd like to think that as far as disaster queerness goes, this is one of the more well-adjusted reactions, even if there are multiple stages of grief involved (me @ my brain: "ruined a perfectly good friendship is what you've done! look at it, it's got FEELINGS")


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in reply to @bazelgeuse-apologist's post:

Actually I'm going to say the "ripping off the band-aid" confession approach is a logical and reasonable good idea! While I afford the Useless Lesbians (affectionate) the highest honors, outside of romcoms there's a lot to be said for just... doing something already about a crush, whether that's deciding "nah I don't want to act on it" and enjoying it/letting it fade (romcoms consider this option 2k23) or actually approaching your crush to ask if they wanna or nah.

It's AUUUUGH as heck to live through of course, but as far as actions you can take while in the grips of "oh no, feelings" I think it's a pretty good one!

(I rather memorably got told a very "no thanks" once and for all that that's ostensibly not the answer I wanted, it turned out that Having An Answer was BLISS compared to agonizing over my spongy feels forever.)

Yeah, something that I try to repeat to myself over and over while caught in the throes of Feelings is that no matter how it may feel, the Feelings are... just another set of feelings! Like they are there for a reason like any other feeling, but that reason is not "THIS IS THE ONE AND YOU MUST PICK THE CORRECT SERIES OF DIALOGUE OPTIONS TO WIN THEIR AFFECTION OR ELSE... or else... SOMETHING!!"

And just like any other feeling, if it's causing you distress, it's time to figure out why it's happening and do something about said why!