an awful lot of questions I see in the plural community are some permutation of "is [experience] normal?" which is, IMO, really not the most useful question you can ask in a community that is by mainstream definition not "normal" in the slightest.
if you find yourself asking those questions (especially repeatedly) here are some other, potentially more useful questions to ask yourself:
- how do I feel about [experience]?
- how is [experience] affecting my life?
- does [experience] affect anyone else in an actual, concrete way, or just me?
- what does "normal" mean to me, in this context? what does it mean to be "not normal"?
- why do I feel compelled to ask other people if this is "normal"?
- what would happen if I just accepted [experience], regardless of "normalcy"?
- am I afraid that people will judge me for [experience]? would I judge someone else for [experience]?
- how would I feel if someone told me that no, [experience] wasn't "normal"? would [experience] go away if someone told me it wasn't "normal"?
- if given the choice, would I get rid of [experience]?
- in a hypothetical world that wasn't shitty about marginalized folks, would I still care if [experience] was "normal"?
- what answer am I hoping for? why?
- what am I really looking for?
(fallen london stamps by