(fallen london stamps by someone elsewhere was posting about how they, as the person at front the majority of the time, felt forced to either
- make their entire internet existence a collective one, without ever having anything for themselves, out of fear that doing so otherwise will stifle their headmates' abilities to be themselves
- or claim every aspect of their outerworld existence for themselves, burying everything about the system in the process and forcing their headmates to pretend to be them
I kind of want to write a more organized thing on this sometime, but for now, here's the response I gave:
I feel like both of these options are extremes, tbh. If you are the most active person out here, it's perfectly fine to proceed with stuff under your own name, and rearrange stuff if other people decide to join in, and only if.
It's not the same as scrubbing every trace of them from existence and refusing to ever mention them or allow them any space ever again. It's like... idk, if you're the only person who really plays a video game, you can make the character you want and if someone else decides that they want to try the video game, they can borrow your character. And if they want to play more, then they can make their own.
And you can adjust according to the space. For example, I'm really the only one who uses Tumblr, so our main is tailored to me. But several of us use our Discord so its handle is a shared one; but also, sometimes there's only one of us who talks in a certain server, so we change our handle for that server to theirs.
Anyway, I guess my point is, you shouldn't feel responsible for Pre-emptively Making Space for the rest of your system wherever you go. It's a well-intentioned gesture and it can also be a valid personal statement, but if it's stressing you out, then it's okay to be a little bit selfish. You can adjust if the need ever comes up.
(Plus, pre-emptively making space for everyone when doing so stresses you out can stress other people in the system out as well! Like they'll feel Obligated to participate in everything so your Sacrifice doesn't go to Waste and feel bad if they don't. Food for thought.)
[[+ addendum: and for things like "game only lets you have one character," this is where talking to each other and negotiating stuff comes into play!]]