(fallen london stamps by someone I knew a long time ago said something along the lines of "if no matter where you go, other people are assholes, then you should stop and think about whether you are the asshole"
and while this is worded harshly and kind of a simplification, I do think there's wisdom in this. not necessarily that You Are An Asshole so much as like... if you have been to a lot of different, non-related communities, in a bunch of different social contexts, and people avoid you (or seem to avoid you), it's worth thinking about what kinds of behaviors you have that's making them avoid you (or thought patterns you have that are making you think they're avoiding you)
it's a tricky thing to navigate, for sure, but just like. I dunno. the number of people I've encountered who are loudly like "PEOPLE SUCK HUMANITY IS BAD NO ONE CAN BE TRUSTED FRIENDS ARE FAKE" without realizing that most self-respecting people will rightly not want to hang out with someone who immediately expects the worst of them is like. depressing honestly.
(especially when those same people then moan that no one wants to hang out with them and whyyyy won't other people ever take the initiative to approach them and it's soooo unfair and-- my sibling in Zodiark! you are NOT entitled to other people! instead of complaining about how it's SO UNJUST that other people won't hang out with you, try developing some self-awareness!! try becoming someone that other people WANT to hang out with instead!!!)
