I feel like it says things about me that the biggest thing keeping me from reblogging this silly ask game is not the "can we kiss" or "we should have gay sex" parts but the "I want to be your friend
"
LIKE I LEGIT WOULD NOT KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THAT... like it is still awkward but more Socially Understandable, I think, to respond to "we should kiss" or "we should fuck" with "I'd rather not but I'm flattered!" it is less so to respond to a Genuine Overture To Be Friends that way. I think bc like it is More Commonly Understood that not everyone is gonna want to smooch or fuck (and it's nothing personal) but less so that not everyone is going to want to be friends (even though it's still nothing personal)
A large part of this is probably because "friend" has certain weighty connotations to me that it doesn't for everyone - I'll sometimes use the word casually, but when I think about it in the context of like, "are we friends?", the word "friend" carries connotations of ongoing commitment and prioritization. a friend is not just someone I'm friendly towards and enjoy hanging out with. a friend is someone I have, to some degree or another, committed a portion of my ever-diminishing time and energy towards being present for.
this can mean like.... someone I'll hear out in my DMs after a rough day. this can also mean someone who I'll help through a years-long stalker situation; someone who I'll stay on the phone with while they try to figure out how to handle another friend having a psychotic break; someone whose medical bills I will pay in full, out of my own pocket, with no expectation of repayment. these are all things I have done for those I call my friends. (as opposed to pals, or acquaintances, or friends (casual, slang))
and obviously, not everyone uses the word this way, so that's not what they mean when they're like, hey, wanna be friends? but I freeze like a deer in headlights every time. it's not even "I don't want to be friends with you" - it's that my autistic brain goes "you can't just ASK me to make that COMMITMENT"
(fallen london stamps by