• he/they

It's a horrible day on the Internet, and you are a lovely geuse.

Adult - Plants-liking queer menace - Front-desk worker of a plural system - Unapologetic low-effort poster

✨ Cohost's #1 Sunkern Fan(tm) ✨

[Extended About]

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Three pixel stamps: a breaking chain icon in trans colors against a red background, an image of someone being booted out reading "This user is UNWELCOME at the university", and a darkened lamppost.(fallen london stamps by @vagorsol)



I genuinely can't tell if I'm cynical or if the plural subreddit is stuck in a rut.


it feels like an awful lot of discussion there is people talking about one of the following:

  • anxiety that they're faking
  • venting about fakeclaimers and exclusionists

which, like. I definitely want people to be able to express their distress and get support when they need it. I don't want a toxic positivity "good vibes only" space. but at the same time, I can't help but wonder if they're collectively doing the mental equivalent of picking at a scab and making it bleed anew.

(and like, especially the posts complaining about the absurd logic people use on cringe subreddits - why are you reading those subreddits to begin with??? what good is it going to accomplish??? there are so many better things you could be doing with your time than stewing in the hatred of others)

I just get the feeling that there are folks trapped in this cycle of trigger -> anxiety -> seek external validation -> be fine for some time -> encounter a trigger again -> repeat. and I sympathize, I empathize, I really do! but at some point you have to break the cycle: by identifying and removing the triggers, by learning how to validate yourself, by learning to become comfortable with ambiguity. and I don't know how to teach that to people. I don't know how to make this heard over a cacophony of cyclical pain, other than saying it over and over and over in hopes that it'll stick, somewhere, someday.


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in reply to @bazelgeuse-apologist's post:

pretty much all the trans subreddits are some version of this too, which is why i don't engage with it anymore.

frankly, reddit just ... doesn't seem like a site a lot of mentally healthy people even spend time on in the first place.

feels like maybe if the group spent less energy getting angry at people that are either gate-keeping too much or not being gate-kept enough......folks there might have less anxiety about whether or they themselves are faking (.....which applies to so many groups that it's not even funny.....)