Phosphor [&]

I bought a bottle of Kewpie (Japanese) mayo and it's fucking delicious, but I am not a big condiment person usually so I have no idea what to actually use it on. I am taking suggestions

look at that egg go!!!

not april foolsy, but these are my personal go-to instructions for making hard-boiled eggs. I don't make hard-boiled eggs often (too much trouble to peel and I usually like em poached if I'm going to go to the effort of hot water) but this method yielded the least terrible texture and color on boiled eggs for me.

I collect Dijon mustards like I collect wine. I have 6 different Dijon mustards in the fridge and they are all suited to a different meal.

I love it when people are freaks about highly specific things

Don't talk to me about yellow mustard. I'd rather kiss the lipstick off a pig. But dijon and wholegrain can live in my house rent-free and claim my children as dependents.

yeah, honestly, agreed re: yellow mustard

yellow mustard and ketchup (of the standard cheap shitty varieties you'd find in whatever store) make me want to howl and/or stage an intervention

there are multiple reasons why "british food is bland lol" is a tired joke. Colman's mustard is a big one. that shit hits

fun and harmless* prank idea: swap someone's shitty yellow mustard for Colman's. offer them a hotdog. watch the fireworks that ensue

*this statement is not legally endorsed. choster is not responsible for any damage to sinuses, tastebuds, or assorted mucus membranes that may result

always puzzled by why a lot of places feel the need to dump the standard diced carrots + peas mix into their fried rice. good fried rice doesn't need those. it needs eggs, rice, salt (or MSG!), and to be tossed in a wok over a jet burner. maybe scallions for garnish, maybe some garlic as a treat, maybe whatever protein you choose if The Holy Ova is not enough for you. but the Standard Veggie Mix does nothing but make me go "ugh... vegetables..."