The other day I was struck by the fact that I don't think I've written any sort of fiction in years. Like I'll make a little fictional post here or there or come up with a story to tell my sister's kids if the situation calls for it, but it's possible I haven't tried to plot out any kind of story since a short and ill-fated Dungeon World game I briefly GMed half a decade ago. I don't know if I was ever really committed to becoming a writer but I did take creative writing as late as undergrad. And now I don't know how I feel about it. I don't know if I feel particularly compelled to write but maybe that's because I'm not even trying?
I guess it's not that dissimilar to drawing. I drew a ton as a kid but now I basically never do. I wish I could sketch a bit better because it can be a good way to get an idea across or plan something out. Maybe if I took the time to get better at it (or to get less self-conscious about not being good at it). I would want to do more? Even just typing this out I'm kind of side-eyeing the idea that I am deeply enamoured with photography but otherwise am uninterested in the visual art.
A thing that does feel a bit different is music. I played an instrument in school. I sometimes think about (re)learning an instrument or make a little programmatic music tool. Somehow with music, having some 'idea I need to get out' doesn't feel like a prerequisite (even if I'm not currently doing any music stuff).
And while on one hand I sometimes feel deeply uncreative because I don't just have some well of ideas I'm dying to express, maybe that's just a shit framing? With the stuff I have made in the past, it's been less about that drive than about playing around with things and seeing what comes of it. And if that's the case, should I just be playing around with more stuff to see what I come up with? Who knows
