I guess I kind of always sort of thought it would be nice to have breasts, but, you know, I was a dude so that's not really a reasonable thing to wish for. Once I realized I'm not a dude, actually, that maybe seemed like a more reasonable thing to think.
Thing is, my trans community for the first four years was Tumblr enbies, who were nearly all assigned female at birth and talked about binders constantly, arguably the top single topic, depending on how you define single topic. Now and then someone would be sure to note that if you can't or for some reason just don't want to wear a binder you are ✨valid✨ which nonetheless didn't make me feel included. To the extent I've heard from cis women about how they feel about their breasts, they feel they are a nuisance, they get in the way of things, dudes look at them and say shit.
So sure I ought to feel differently from the assigned female trans people but even so it felt weird to see only feelings ranging from finding them mildly annoying to hating them so much it sometimes felt like they hardly wanted to talk about anything else, and yet thinking I feel like I might like them, tho.
It was the summer before the pandemic started that I found a link to a trans woman's twitter and, unlike reading someone's WordPress blog, you naturally see the people they are interacting with, and in a few weeks I'd found more assigned-male trans people than I had in the previous four and a half years. It was quite a change in culture! And seemingly everyone on twitter was also talking about their breasts, but they were all on estrogen and excited about theirs growing. This was a lot more relatable, at least! And, I don't know, sort of reassuring that everyone wants to talk about their breasts, one way or the other.
Anyway, now I've been on HRT for four weeks and there are already some things going on with mine and, yeah, I'm excited too 😊
