This morning my spouse was listening to a work presentation on zoom and I could overhear it, and it was very interesting. It was by a professional soccer player, she has some advanced degrees in both sports / team management and something related to DEI, she grew up in the US as one of the few black or brown girls (her words) on the various youth soccer teams she played on, and now she plays for Ingolstadt in Germany.
The overall presentation was (naturally) about teambuilding but also inclusion and diversity. She gave an anecdote which I won't repeat about someone saying something causually racist to her and how that just negatively affected her interactions with the team the rest of the day and how (the following is very much my words) it just fukken sucks, like sure, maybe the person didn't know any better and maybe you should counsel them or just let it go, but it still stays in your head.
And the reason why I put that in my own words is ... I extremely identify with that feeling. I'm 6'6" (198 cm) and strangers come up and say the most bizarre and rude shit to me all the time about my height. I have never heard casual racism or microagressions explained in that way, but nevertheless understood them on an intellectual level, recognizing as a person who is majority culture and ethnic group person in a majority culture and ethnic group kind of place that there was never gonna be a way I would experience such a thing. And I'm not saying that I have. Just ... like yeah, something entirely different and unlinked to a systemic oppression but nevertheless kinda ever so slightly analagous and even still it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!
So, in conclusion, don't say dumb shit to people. Be considerate of others. Yes.
I don't know where else to write without someone replying with something that they think is helpful but is in fact PRECISELY dumb shit (like "oh don't worry about people saying rude things to you" or "you just need a thicker skin"). So I will put it on cohost where nobody will see it.