i've been feeling really burned out when it comes to writing and part of that is general depression, and part of it is feeling like a failure every time i engage with it because no matter what i try it seems like my audience has more or less plateaued, and it genuinely seems impossible to make anything near a living wage.
i've been probably blaming myself too much for this and now this thing i used to do for fun feels like a big chore and every day i don't do it, i feel like i'm being lazy and stupid and throwing away chances to maybe reach more people.
and i've applied to a bunch of other jobs etc and it's just been silence on that front so i'm not particularly hopeful.
i've been going back and forth lately on if i should just shut down my Patreon and give up for a while because right now i feel trapped in this endless cycle.
on the other hand, most of my stress is coming from me and whenever i actually mention this stuff to supporters they say that it's fine and they're giving money to support me and my health and wellbeing is more important than my productivity.
