Anonymous User asked: Would you recommend "transitioning in your 30s with an established family and career" to anyone else?
like, i don't want to oversimplify things and everyone's life, values, and decisions are different
but
if you're grappling with whether or not to transition now it's very likely only going to get harder as time goes on (as in: it will get harder to resist transitioning). i'm basing this not just on my own experiences but also from listening to the experiences of other trans people. i've never seen a situation where "person decides not to transition for the sake of their spouse or family or career" ends well. all that does is make them unhappy AND make them begin to resent the loved ones in their life
because, like, the thing that dawns on you once you start to grapple with gender dysphoria is: you have to live with your body for the rest of your life (literally every minute of your life). other people come and go, but you're stuck in your body until your very last breath. the connection between a person and their own body is even stronger than the connection between two spouses. so you gotta be happy in your own skin otherwise you're going to be stuck in an even more miserable marriage with yourself that you can never divorce yourself from or get space from
for me that was a really tough pill to swallow and i went through some pretty bad shit because of my decision but i don't regret a thing and when i came out the other side i was much happier (in multiple regards). that doesn't mean that transitioning is a cure-all to life's problems, but once you stop grappling with gender dysphoria so much you make room for grappling with newer and more interesting challenges
