Nay, thou art out. For thy deeds match not what Simon hath spoken. Indeed, Simon speaketh not, "Simon sayeth."
And it came to pass that in the twenty thousandth and twenty third year, Simon did issue a command that all should touch their toes, lest they should be cast out.
And Webster, who was a duck, and was therefore stout in stature and had not toes to touch nor fingers with which to touch them spake, saying "I cannot, my lord, for I hath not fingers nor toes."
And Simon, who was benevolent, spake saying "Fear not for thine lack of fingers and toes, for mine command is forfeit. Behold."
And the people beheld, and saw that Simon had not spoken Simon sayeth. And there was much rejoicing.