With Cohost on the Cusphost of throwing open its doors to the masses I've decided I'm going to squat on the following Poster Identities and only relinquish them after being paid a ransom:

• willfully obtuse f2p apologist games journo
• guy that intentionally surfaces hate speech to dunk on it
• beloved community pillar who got exhausted of online visibility & now makes one post every eight weeks at MOST
• artist that very conspicuously never interacts with their peers
• porn reposter who's strangely comfortable keeping their audience abreast of the two-or-three life-altering crises they're currently navigating at any given moment
• comedian who's going to start doing outright hate speech in 8-12 months but for now has some good bits about food truck tacos
• Honey Nut Cheerios Bee rebrand attempt, Cohost Edition
• cause gadfly whose screenname is primarily hashtags & flag emoji
• seething antishipper who has made it their life's work to remind people that Knuckles the Echidna is 16 years of age

If you want to be any of these posters, too bad! Bidding starts at three hundred American dollars

• neolib wonk that rose to undeserving prominence via stale, strident dunks and is very clearly posting through multiple breakdowns per day
• dirtbag leftist podcaster whose body of work seems to have a real bone to pick with girls having Amazon wishlists
• guy who seems basically fine & whom you've never had an actual bad interaction with but who is just a LITTLE too familiar with his female mutuals in public and also has a kind of facial hair that makes you not trust him and while you acknowledge that attempting to explain WHY you find this kind of facial hair distrustful would make you sound justifiably insane you must ALSO acknowledge that distrusting this kind of facial hair has never once in your life steered you wrong
• activist whose activism appears to center around making public threats of violence against well-known figures and then acting smug after their account gets suspended
• jugged-up foodfluencer
• poster that steals content and reposts it with captions like "Oh my god" or "I died"
• poster that once had friends, a life, and a future whose feed is now 130% devoted to incomprehensible ramblings about Final Fantasy 14
• artist who announces social media breaks four times a week
• gacha simp (sad)
• gacha simp (powerful)

The starting bid for any of these poster identities now stands at 500 American dollars. DMpost me with your bid soon, these identities are going fast!!!