So at work today a coworker broke the spatula we use to spread cinnamon sludge on the cinnabreads. Which like we all laughed it was funny. But then ten minutes later he broke the scale we use to weigh the steak and it was even funnier. Like i was frantically convincing him no im not laughing at your expense im mostly just trying to brainstorm what the funniest third thing to break would be
here is a non-exhaustive list of the buttons on this tiny little scale:
- OFF
- ON / TARE
now those of you adept in the ways of mathematics will notice,, that these buttons do not get pressed the same number of times. if you tare about once a use, it's at least a 1:2 ratio even if you turn it off after every weighing. which we don't, of course we don't, this scale was not designed for foodservice use, it was designed for a dork who lives in a house and needs to weigh random things like, once a month at most.
i noticed all this because i have that UI designer autism, which is why when the scale broke in a way that baffled the rest of the makeline I immediately knew what was happening. "no matter what I weigh, it flashes for a second, then says it weighs 0! and i can't even turn it off! how could this happen?" well, the circuitry in the ON / TARE button got more wear than everything else, so it broke-- and in this case, it broke in a way that continuously sent ON / TARE inputs. when this happened with my old calculator taking out and replacing the battery fixed it, so i just did that and i felt like a goddamn wizard. not because i did anything particularly magical, but because i understood the deep script rippling within the taut strings of the world.
