oh sorry i was busy thinking about
Lindemann's Immortal Bongcloud
oh you don't know what that is? allow me to explain.
the year is 1893. our tragic hero, lindemann, is in Kiel at a big chess tournament. since this is a big tournament, there are certain etiquette rules in place to prevent shenanigans, one of which is the "touch-move" rule: "if you touch a piece, you have to move or capture it if able".
in 1893, though, it was slightly stricter. basically, if you touch a piece to move it, but move it illegally, your opponent may obligate you to move your king instead. on its face, this makes sense-- a player shouldn't be able to "fish" for illegal moves to try and pull a fast one on their opponent, for example, and penalizing that behavior seems logical.
with that context out of the way, let me present to you Lindemann's Immortal Bongcloud. Lindemann is white in this game:
1. e4 d5
Lindemann's opponent responds with the Scandinavian Defense. White is obligated to take this pawn with 2. exd4:
to which Lindemann's opponent responds with 2. Qxd4:
And it's here, on move 3, where Lindemann goes down in history.
See, white's move is pretty scripted in this position-- the most logical way to punish the opponent for hurling their queen into the middle of the board is 3. Nc3:
It's a slam-dunk move, getting to move your knight for free while your opponent's queen slinks back to the periphery. It's certainly what Lindemann intended to play. However, Lindemann wasn't careful and accidentally moved his bishop to the knight's spot. Bishops can't move like that, of course-- so the rule from earlier comes into effect, and Lindemann is obligated to move his king instead. There's only one way he can do so-- 3. Ke2!!:
Moving your king like this is, in most situations, one of the worst things you can possibly do. The meme opening associated with it is called the "Bongcloud attack", a nod to the fact that no sober mind would dare do it in a serious game. (It got press recently when two of the best players in the world agreed to a draw by playing the "Double Bongcloud Accepted".)
In the abstract, it's unpleasant. In this specific situation, though, it's instantly losing. Black, presumably cackling, played 3. Qe4#
and here Lindemann probably wishes he could move his bishop like a knight to interpose the checkmate. As it stands, the game is over. But a game is temporary-- and the legacy of this incredible game will outlast its player.