I know it's the basic nerd answer but personally I still gotta go with gnosticism
absolutely the funniest possible solution to christianity's internal contradictions
imagine trying to resolve the whole "christians say god is both ontologically good and infinitely powerful, so how can all this suffering exist" problem, but instead of concluding "god isn't real" or "christian doctrine isn't true" and leaving the church, you go "okay hear me out: Literally everything in the bible is factually true and correct, it's just that GOD IS THE VILLAIN"
10/10 galaxy brain theology. gets you killed by absolutely everyone in europe. directly leads to a bunch of really weird but highly respected japanese cartoons like 700 years later
Wikipedia: I have two lists actually, one for Christians and one for Catholics.
First item on the list chronologically: "Jesus was a hologram." We're off to a hot start. Already hip-deep in the theological debates trying to reconcile his dual physical vs spiritual nature.