In this paper we present irrefutable proof of the presence of Americans on the Cohost^{1} website.
By analyzing the activity levels of website users and correlating them with statistical data about people’s sleep patterns, we can, with high statistical likelihood, estimate the locations of these people on the Earth^{2}.
Our methodology consists of measuring
the hourly notification frequency
on a sample Cohost user account,
with the assumption that this data will represent
a reasonable estimate of the activity on the entire website.
By repeatedly querying the
/api/v1/notifications/list
API endpoint on cohost.org,
we were able to obtain over one month of Cohost
notification data (N = 2058).
In this data, we could not see anything.
However, using computer technology^{3}, we were able to sort the data into 24 buckets representing the hour of the day in the UTC time zone. From this, it was possible to create a histogram of the data (Fig. 1).
The data has a single maximum value at 21:00 UTC, and a single minimum value at 10:00 UTC. We can thus estimate that the Cohost website is most active and least active at around those hours.
A 2016 study^{4} revealed that people go to sleep at around 23:00 and wake at around 7:00 in their local time zone. Using the arithmetic mean^{5} between the two values in the finite additive group ℤ/24ℤ, we were able to calculate that it is very likely for people to be asleep at 3:00, and very likely for people to be awake at 15:00.
Hence,
 let a_{max,utc} = 21 be the max. activity hour in UTC
 let a_{min,utc} = 10 be the min. activity hour in UTC
 let h_{awake} = 15 be the mean awake hour in any local time zone
 let h_{asleep} = 3 be the mean asleep hour in any local time zone
We can now formulate an optimization problem to find a UTC offset k to minimize the metric a_{max,k} − h_{awake} + a_{min,k} − h_{asleep}, where ∀ i ∈ {min, max} a_{i,k} = a_{i,utc} + k.
This problem is trivially solvable:
The average UTC offset of a Cohost user is hence −6.5. Consulting a map reveals that this UTC offset coincides with the location of North America (Fig. 2).
Hence, the average Cohost user resides with high likelihood in North America, providing irrefutable proof that there are Americans on Cohost (p ≪ 0.001).
Discussion
It is unclear what this means.

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Disputed author, Earth, in: Nature (−4.54×10^{9})

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