when you start failing something, making a mistake, etc, it's worth paying attention to it and getting the most learning you can out of it -- it's doomed to fail, but you might not be.
most of my important learned things were from paying attention to everything burning down.
but if you see failure as world-ending or a slight on you or whatever, you're likely to black-hole it instead of learning from it. it's a hard skill to develop if you're constantly in that state, but one of the most impactful ways out of it, too.
'Failing Mindfully' might be the way I have to try explaining this to people, because there is nothing that drives me as immediately feral as that line. "I did exactly what you did and I didn't get the same result. It didn't work."
Well... okay. So what's the learning opportunity here? If the process failed, where and how? Are you examining that and looking for solutions, or are you throwing up your hands and declaring that some magic third force in the universe is deliberately messing with you?
If you look at my process and my results and perform exactly the same method and you don't get the same result, then are you looking at your equipment? Where's the weak link? There's always something to learn from failure, if you're prepared to accept it as something other than a something happening to you like the universe hates you.
Of course, this doesn't cover the chaotic and unfeeling nature of the universe and how bad things can just happen, but in the scope of attempting something under your own recognizance - especially a game, hobby or similar - the phrase "I did it right and it didn't work" is such a blithe thought-terminating cliché that I damn near hit the roof every time I see it.
This isn't entirely what OP was driving at, but it feels related enough to take the opportunity to shake my fist and remind people about learning opportunities being almost anywhere you cock something up.
I feel like fixed vs. growth mindset is part of this.
For those who've never heard of it, a “fixed mindset” is the idea that skills are innate and fixed: you either are or aren't good at something; you are or aren't a “math person”, say. “Growth mindset” is the idea that skills can be developed, and even if you're not good at it yet, you can get better at it through learning and practice. This dichotomy was articulated by psychologist Carol Dweck.
Someone with fixed mindset sees failure—especially failure in their earliest attempts, before any demonstrable skill has been developed—as the indication that This Is Not For Me. Someone with growth mindset sees failure as an indication to reassess the circumstances, methods, and even goals—to attempt to learn. “I can't do this” vs. “I don't know how to do this yet”.
Someone with fixed mindset sees “I tried what they suggested and it didn't work” as an indication that it will work for them, but not for me. They are able to do this; I am not. Someone with growth mindset sees “I tried what they suggested and it didn't work” as a prompt for further examination: I thought I tried what they suggested; did I do it right? What was different between what I did and what they (presumably) had previously done? (Had they done it before or were they spitballing?) Was something different in the environment in which the steps were performed?
Of course, nobody's all one or all the other; we all exhibit a mix of both at times, and it is possible to work away from one towards the other. The more you practice a growth mindset, the more you'll acquire skills you might once have thought impossible for you.
