We wanted to watch Life-Size with Tyra Banks but it's not streaming anywhere or available to rent so we were on Amazon to order a DVD.
In the related suggestions was Toothless, the 1997 Kirstie Alley made-for-tv Tooth Fairy movie which we found a bootleg upload of on YouTube.
Aside from giving me motion sickness from being filmed entirely on a portable camera I swear to GOD the production did not own a tripod, we also recognized an appearance by child actor Ross Malinger, mainly known for playing the kid in Sleepless in Seattle.
We noticed that he also played one of the kids in Kindergarten Cop and so made the correct decision to stop watching Toothless and start watching Kindergarten Cop. It definitely holds up and it's very cute. I kind of hold it responsible for studios suddenly thinking Arnold belonged in family comedies but that's hardly blood on Ivan Reitman's hands.
After the credits, Tubi autoplayed Kindergarten Cop 2 to which we understandably said "fucking what?" We did not watch the 2016 Kindergarten Cop sequel starring Dolph "Ivan Drago" Lundgren, but we did look up it's director, Don Michael Paul.
This man's name is on a Scorpion King sequel, a Lake Placid sequel, the fourth Death Race movie, two Sniper sequels, and most importantly three Tremors sequels, starting with five.
So we watched Tremors, which is just a perfect goddamn movie and I was happy to return to it.
Calling if a night we recounted the day and realized we had accidentally stumbled our way into a heated game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.
