F Tier
- Two pair: You have to play four entire cards to get worse base chip/mult than a three of a kind. There are no real rewards for playing a two pair. A two pair is just a failed full house.
D Tier
- Three of a kind: This lives in a local minima of base chips/mult versus how easy it is to assemble.
- Pair: One worse than a three of a kind.
C Tier
- Full house: Meh
- Straight: This is a lot like a flush, but weaker and it requires more thinking. Always remember the rule: never do anything that is hard.
- Straight Flush: Once in a blue moon it is optimal to make these, with certain very specific combinations of jokers, but it is so much easier to pursue other things.
B Tier
- Flush five: It is one of the game's immutable laws that by the time you see an Eris, you'll have used like five Planet Xes
- Flush house: What are you, some kind of hipster?
- Four of a Kind: One worse than a five of a kind.
A Tier
- Five of a kind: One better than a four of a kind.
- Flush: No hand with a worse base chip/mult than flush is good unless you are doing something stupid; if you are doing something stupid, High Card better.
S Tier
- High Card: High-end Balatro is like jazz. It's all about the cards you don't play.