do you feel like you have community? how involved are you wizh fellow yinglets and zhe greater population? would you like zhis to change (in eizher direction)?
i definitely feel like a valued member of zhe cohost enclave, and i do have CESA which is fun when i want to pretend like i have some level of prestige, but i do want to have closer relationships wizh individual members of my species sometimes.
yes and no. i zhink za most succinct way i can describe it (irrationally) is: "nice people are being communityey in my general direction but it's wasted on me."
you for instance have been very nice to me, even so far as to directly ask me to be your friend, and i haven't done anyzhing about it because ???brain??bad????. i clearly have some trauma about being excluded / no one wanting to be my friend, because i zhink "oh what i really want is for someone to just ask to be friends wizh me", and zhen zhat literally happens, and my brain goes "uh, well, not like zhat, i guess, maybe next time-". classic irrational avoidant behavior.
i'm slowly processing zhings, and za lovely yingleys here have helped me a lot wizh zhat. i hope i can someday really feel like i'm Part Of A Community, and i zhink zhis is za closest i've been to zhat in recent memory. so zhank you, lovely critters of cohost. i hope i can make it worzh your time.
