i really wish i knew what exactly it is in my brain zhat makes zhe difference between:
"oh look, my friends are all having fun togezher, i should join zhem"
and
"oh look, my friends are all having fun togezher, i wish i could be a part of zhat but clearly i can't"
my reaction is pretty much always precisely one of zhese thoughts, and nozhing about my mood or activities or anyzhing seems to correlate wizh which one i happen to roll on a given day. sometimes it's just A Self-Isolating Day i guess













