ah fuck gave myself the horrors by accidentally contemplating my own mortality
possibly related: no idea what it was I was dreaming last night, but I do remember waking up at like 4AM and going "you know, after that, and the dream where I was incarcerated for the apparently sole purpose of psychologically torturing me, and the other one where I got terrifyingly choked by an anthropomorphic rabbit for not laughing at his jokes, maybe I'm not doing so well atm?"