Calliope

Based on what I'm reading Pillowfort is just Kiwifarms 2

Here is user @honeybees on Pillowfort commenting on one of these cohost news posts, talking about how Alyaza and I specifically kept anonymous asks open despite talking about receiving racist asks, commenting that we must "secretly have wildly uncontrolled victim complexes," are "a bit of a digital munchausen," and remark that there are "some professional victim types out there that NEED to feel attacked constantly or else they seem to lose their way."

and yeah thats precisely my point when i say it's like a digital munchausen thing - they get to be treated like a victim (or in some cases a noble and proud warrior defending themselves) and get the positive attention that comes from it. ive seen this pan out very many times and all i can think is it's your choice, ultimately, whether to engage or not. and if it's a legitimate form of online self harm then you have to break that cycle one way or the other. not something most are cognizant of, though, so it persists ever onward lol

I found this post yesterday. Before this, Bee and I were mutuals on Bluesky. In the past, she messaged me to say she was sorry to see how much shit I was going through on cohost, and commiserated with me about how awful the dogpiling here had gotten. It was fucked up beyond all belief to see that this whole time, she had been on Pillowfort gleefully discoursing over me, literally depersoning me in order to talk about the "concept" of me I guess, to use as her case study to talk about how digital Munchausens "get to be treated like a victim (or in some cases a noble and proud warrior defending themselves) and get the positive attention that comes from it."

She did all of this in a place where I was unlikely to see it, where I cannot reply nor block/report her, and among people who have no idea who I am or why I kept anonymous asks open for as long as I did. Tell me: does this sound to you like a group of enlightened, empathetic, social justice-minded people discussing the issues of racism affecting POC? Or does this sound like a group of whites who have no idea who I am and have zero interest in knowing, publicly snarking over my pain for entertainment and to feel loftily superior for being on a different platform, as if racism and shitty whites can be contained on a single website? Why the fuck would you think talking ABOUT people rather than WITH them would not make folks feel literally objectified, dehumanized, and like you're reading fuckin Encyclopedia Dramatica articles about yourself that are meant to be consumed by rubberneckers for lolcow entertainment?

All of you over there, you are talking about real people with real problems and real lives, not a bunch of blank dolls marked "POC." I am VERY fuckin raw about this right now. I am NOT in a charitable mood, and I do not trust white cohost users to post about me or that situation right now in good faith, let alone you vultures at Pillowfort devouring my pain along with a bag of popcorn. I resent being your case study, your frog pinned open to be dissected.

Word of advice: stop digging. If someone is expressing that this analytical game you’re playing is bothering them and hurting them, the response is not some sort of justification as to why it’s fine, actually. It’s to think about why someone might say this, recognize that you fucked up, even if you think the intentions are good, and stop trying to speak for the whole site when you give your own excuses. Hold yourself and your peers accountable and apologize.

You know how you change the reputation of a place like that? You work to make sure what happened doesn’t happen again.