If I was an SCP writer I would write things in incredible detail but stick "[REDACTED]" and "[DATA EXPUNGED]" in the most comically inappropriate places.
It's the tiger statue that turns you into apples. Rewrites your whole genetic code. Your bones dissolve and muscle tissue hardens and compresses into the apple flesh. Skin hardens turns red or green.
One Class-D personnel turned into bananas instead by ██████████████████████████████ ████████████████████ █████ █████ ██████████