
1997 • 🇧🇷
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porn animations // every character depicted here is 18+ years old // Do not follow me or interact with me if you're a minor.
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Pros and antis, please interact a lot thank you.
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at the end of the day: if they aren't the people you WANT to have a deeper relationship with, then you continue searching or trying to make the community you want to interact with. that doesn't necessarily make "you" the problem. i think a lot of the time, these "NSFW spaces" DO put expectations on the people that join them to be very similar to each other, speak the same, be interested in the same games/hobbies. there's a lack of honesty within these places, no real desire to connect beyond the surface level. it's hard for people to open up when they are connected by, ironically, pornography.
if they aren't your people: they are still your peers. doesn't mean you have to form a bond beyond that.
Most of my contemporaries are at least a decade younger than I am. It's unbelievably difficult for me to relate to most of these people. I don't even understand what they're saying half the time. It doesn't help that I can't physically participate in most things. I can't do drawpiles or play video games. It's very frustrating.
Recently I've just been trying to be present. Chatting whenever I feel like it. Chiming in when it feels natural. It's hard to form deeper relationships, especially when you get older. It's not you. It's not a problem with them. It's just difficult.
Literally one person regularly messages me, through all the platforms I am active on. I don't think I'm giving off a "f*** off and never talk to me" vibe. I don't avoid conversation in the normal channels. But... nobody reaches out. I don't know the answer, but it's not just you, if that helps.
I've found many people do not reach out unless they've already formed a bond
I say this coming from the perspective of having lived both sides of both coins. I'm usually the one putting in the energy to poke others and make it clear to them that I do indeed want to be a part of their lives. And that takes time for them to become comfortable/safe enough with you to even begin to reciprocate.
On the flip-side, without that effort, I barely notice others doing the same back, so I've learned to assume that the default state for most is to be "reserved", only participating in context, never going past their comfort zones if they think it could be any bit awkward.
So my only advice is you either be the change you want to see, always being okay with putting out more social energy to connect with folk than you receive, or you accept the status quo that most (not all) will also do, and get barely interaction at all.
And I gotta also add, in doing what I do, yes its scary, you don't know how folk will react to blunt statements, honest feelings, and just overall being a constant in their lives, but so far I've formed so many relationships that I absolutely adore, and it's also how I've discovered my partners over time for romance purposes. When they finally come around and open back up to you it makes it all worth it in the end, but you do have to climb that mountain with determination.
I don't know if reply's to comments also notify the original poster cuz I think Capy should also read this for a bit of perspective as well.
this doesn't touch on general vibes and aura's though, people DO have an aura about them and that can affect perceptions. If you're constantly radiating anxious energy, you CAN put folk off as they'll feel something off about the person. It's a subconscious thing I've noticed in many situations. I'm strange and odd but because I approach socialization with happiness and care I tend to have a comforting vibe to most. But I have some friends that, even though they mean no harm at all, have so much tension and baggage seeping through their interactions that it genuinely "scares off" other folk. It's something to work on as a human race as a whole, as it seems to be an innate sense we all have.
I'm actually intrigued by this sort of thing because i felt it a lot in my social life, especially the "performing" part, and meeting expectations that we think we ought to meet.
That being said... maybe your community just might not be in art spaces? Making friendships within the art community is definitely more complicated than it seems. Art is still mostly a work-oriented topic, and as such people do tend to be more stiff on interactions.
Maybe your community is in videogames/movie discussion/other hobbies? I definitely had more fun conversations about fighting games than about drawing.
Pode ser uma barreira cultural também. Não sei se todos os discords pros quais você foi convidado foram estrangeiros, mas tem uma diferença entre a gnt e o povo de fora. Se bem que, sendo honesto, todas as minhas interações com o povo de arte por aqui não passou do "vamo fazer um collab?". Depois disso a gnt só curte as coisas um do outro...
My experience is that most artists are somewhat introverted, and often don't like to communicate much unless or until the subject becomes something they have a lot of passion about. There's nothing wrong with that; it takes different kinds of people to make a community. If you want to reach out to talk to someone, then reach out! But don't judge yourself too harshly if you keep a pretty closed circle.
As it is, you are out here opening a conversation by saying what you're saying, so if you don't think that's something you have the strength to do - I have got news for you! I think you're doing great.
Forming relationships in online spaces can be difficult. Especially since many online connections are often based on shared interests. The key may be to find a few groups/people you want to interact with. Then hop between the groups when you start to feel pressured or anxious. Your work might provide a common ground, but genuine friendships are built on a broader foundation than a mutual profession. It's important to remember that every person is unique and has their own ways of communicating and expressing themselves. Don't feel pressured to adapt to fit an expectation or mold that you don't feel comfortable with. Be patient, continue searching, and remain open-minded about the possibilities that lie beyond what you've encountered so far. The right people will find a way to connect with you. In the meantime, don't abandon the connections you've made that you enjoy, you never know how those relationships may evolve over time.