• she

neko scape 98

transbian neet, amateur game dev autist, you know the type

currently writing and designing Price of Flight

icon by kitoral on twitter


i wake up crying from a dream where my dog is alive and my family forgives me. the year is 2036 and kissinger is the oldest man alive and everyone's playing the hd remaster of disney's duke nukem forever.

i part the blackout curtains and go out as the sun is setting. a little girl asks her mom why i'm wearing a "gas mask" and the mom says "i don't know" in a way that means "stop asking questions." i walk by the construction site. every day as long as i've lived here they've been building that building and every night for as long as i've lived here they've un-built that building so they can build it again. i don't know what they're putting in there, probably it doesn't matter, probably no one can afford to lease it. a woman asks me for directions and i imagine her stabbing me. she can't understand me through my mask and over the jackhammers and eventually we give up.

i arrive at santa cruz's last affordable taqueria and give my usual order. i have a crush on the guy who takes my order because of the way he doesn't stare at me. i sit in the shadow of the construction site and my chest is full of sillicone and my bones are full of plastic and my head is full of things i can't understand. there's a wound all around us and it's fresh and ancient and if you reach out just right, in a dream maybe, maybe you can touch it, maybe you can tear it open so the sun shines through it and the wind blows through it and maybe people will see it and maybe they'll even care. they're out of chili verde today.


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