i think discourse is particularly bad here because we tend to feel safer and let our guard down, and it's harder to deal with hostility or even just criticism, no matter how kid gloves the criticism is handled with. everyone expects mastodon and bluesky and tumblr to be kind of rolling around in the mud but because this place feels queer friendly we expect people to be more chill. it's hard when they aren't. but you have to be careful that you aren't just being the travis mcelroy good vibes only positivity police about people who are talking about real problems.
i am thinking about the post from a while back where everyone jumped down the throat of someone talking about the disconnect here when people weren't talking about a big international crisis, and people were really dismissive about it in a way that was very cruel. but the original poster was personally affected! and i think the dissonance between something horrible happening to people you care about and people just posting css crimes is something that can be legitimately distressing. and that person was just blowing off steam about that.
i think ultimately people know how precarious the financial position cohost is in and they want to Protect The Website. but protecting institutions (even little ones!) by shielding them from criticism and pushing out people who have problems with them (even if you think those problems don't matter) isn't how you maintain healthy community. it's how you maintain a toxic, high-turnover sick system. or a cult.
