genuinely feels so funny and bizarre that every night when i get ready for bed and take my hormones, i have to look at the androcur ive cut up and decide which fucked up portion i want to take and how vulnerable to mood swings and inexplicable depression i want to be the next day. that shit is so potent. i take a quarter of a pill and cut it with this old pill splitter i got from my friend and sometimes you just fucking shatter it, sometimes you try to split it down the middle and somehow end up with a third thats too brittle to cut any more, and sometimes you get it just right enough that it'll be the same size as the other ones you've cut so that whatever you're taking at least it's consistent
ok last night i thought "ive got therapy at 11am so i should take the most even dose" and then proceeded to have almost a full 8 hours of sleep but kept waking up from nightmares every 30-45 minutes from 2am onwards?? now i feel like shit and im like cmon brain chemicals wtf do u want from me. drink more water?? maybe
