Mech Pilot who swears on the benefits of warm gatorade before every mission.
“We have a perfectly good fridge in the break room.”
“I’m pretty sure Ted takes stuff even if they’re labelled.”
“I mean yeah, he definitely does, but you’re a mech pilot. The Commonwealth pays you more than enough to just buy more Gatorade. And we’re trying to tell Ted the same thing.”
“No no no, see, I get Ted. Before a mission, when it’s go-time, I want my calories, I want my electrolytes, I want to be ready. I don’t have time to check the snack stocks. Ted doesn’t either, so he just grabs the first thing he sees.”
“Uh—”
“But see here’s what Ted doesn’t get. I can just go straight to Bertha and I can be locked in. No distractions. Satiated. In my lane. Ready to walk.”
“But the reactor? Why the hell would you keep your snacks by the reactor?”
“It’s the safest part of the mech, obviously. And you know, it’s like, whether or not Bertha came home in one piece, if the reactor’s intact then that means at least I got home and I know I’m gonna be hankering for something before the next mission.”
“Isn’t the cockpit the safest part of the mech? And also the most climate controlled?”
“You ever watch Final Destination?”