and I'm like
girl
I always have tummy problems. Regular coffee gives me tummy problems, it gives a lot of people tummy problems. Why is this a surprise to anyone it would be like complaining about tummy problems after drinking a bottle of hot sauce
But also: I was telling someone about Mayan drinking chocolate (which is just chocolate, chili, and spices) and how there's some places around here that do that as a mocha (so with coffee + milk, too) and it made me think, man, it would be awesome if Starbucks did that. it would be a neat limited offering.
Then I remembered the average Starbucks customer and realized that any amount of spice in their coffee would probably cause them to perish.
(if you can handle any sort of hot sauce you can probably handle a Mayan-style mocha, so if you ever see it at a coffee place, try it! There are companies that make drinking chocolate but it's uhhhhhhhhh very expensive lol it's a very bougie thing sadly)