A brief rundown of my writing "career":
- Read Eragon, think, "surely, I can do that!" and write a 120K epic fantasy novel in under one year during high school
- Immediately realized what a piece of shit it was because I had no idea what I was doing
- Tried to re-start it several times but, again, had no idea what I was doing so the result was always "bad"
- Stopped writing for several years
- Got fandom brainworms, went balls-to-the-wall writing fanfiction (like 5K+ words/day)
- Covid happens
- Well, I got nothing better to do! Restart epic fantasy novel from scratch
- Write 190K epic fantasy novel in under a year
- Do so much research on The Industry but also how to improve as a writer, how to self edit, etc
- Make myself actually sick over self-imposed deadlines, pitch events, etc
- Spend an entire year sending out queries
- Get exactly 0 manuscript requests
- Start next novel with "the perfect concept" (trans werewolf monster hunter) but know it is probably too queer/furry/spicy for trade publishers
- Get fandom-adjacent brainworms, start writing short fiction
- Short fiction actually gets published and I make a non-0 amount on it
So for the past, like, two fucking years I've been thinking "I keep getting distracted by short fiction! I need to get back to my novel!" but I have been fucking dreading doing that because my first draft was "too short" for the debut adult fantasy market. So in this revising stage I outlined some additional chapters and some moving of pieces on the chessboard to add more words and I just know this is not good. I had to cut over fifty THOUSAND words from my first novel and you always are cutting for shorts (and ESPECIALLY flash) so adding more words for no "good" reason besides "well, it's what The Industry wants!"
And then I see this post. And then I remember seeing a writer I know post today how she got picked up by a publisher for a novella, which isn't a thing that's supposed to happen, because novellas are too short, they are not marketable.
But I know this story is marketable. I pretty much have a direct line to an editor's desk for this story because we've met and talked about it and doing community-based writing stuff. I know queer people will love it, and I know furries will love it, so I especially know cohost will love it.
It was my unpaid furry short fiction that got me a job editing a visual novel that pays decently well. It was my one very weird literary flash that got me into being considered a "professional writer" because I made enough off it.
Ever since high school, it was my dream to make my living as a writer. And I knew then it was impossible, and I know now it's mostly impossible, but the best way to do that is by publishing novels. But novels are so static, they are so ancient in their form. Any fun gimmicks or experiments would get fucking annoying across 50K+ words, both to read and to write. Working on novels always felt like I was clipping my wings to fit into someone else's box because it was how I had to be.
But I don't have to do that. That is not the only path to success, and I wouldn't want to force myself on a path that makes writing fucking miserable for me. Doing line-by-line editing and thinking about tense shifts is torture enough, but doing that makes a stronger story, I can see it happening. But I never had that happen with novels.
So thank you, @lmichet for posting this, it's what I needed to see today. I will do my coffeehouse chat with other writers and then work on revising my fucking weird autobiographical flash piece in the form of a wine list (and I fucking hate wine lol) and focus on that and not feel guilty.
And then, someday soon, I will need to take a good, hard look at the "novel" and remove all the shit I don't actually want to be there. I will stop obsessively tracking word counts, because that won't matter for this story. And it will end up in whatever form it ends up. I even know some markets that technically don't have any upper limits to the stories they take and, hey, maybe they will take a 40-50,000 word trans werewolf story lol. I believe in this story, like I believe in (most of) my stories, so I know it'll find a home, but it has to be a home that loves my writing as my writing, not a perversion of my writing for the hypothetical editor that is "the market."












