godspeed you! yuri warrior

@citriccenobite

gay and autistic since 1991

they/them, he/him
citriccenobite.ju.mp/

im grey. 32 year old funny little guy (agender) from florida. artist, graphic designer, crochet bastard, yuri warrior, frog enjoyer, bad game enthusiast, and dwarf fortress understander who drinks too much iced tea. banned from twitter for being too epic and sexy.

commissions are OPEN!

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ko-fi (for tips and stickers)

ko-fi.com/citriccenobite

email (for commissions and inquiries)

grey.j.aster@gmail.com

palette blog

cohost.org/paletterequest

godspeed you! yuri warrior @citriccenobite2/7/2024, 2:19 PM

www.coolstation.space @warc

full-quack webbed developer @Webster2/6/2024, 7:22 PM

in 7th grade i attended a mormon private school and my teacher told us that she knew someone who was a wealthy ceo, but then he discovered porn and it blocked all his neural pathways until he was not smart enough to be a ceo anymore, so he had to become a construction worker. she told us that he would bring his briefcase to the construction site every day to remind him of the life he gave up for porn.

Noel B @NoelBWrites2/7/2024, 2:45 AM

Heartwarming!

CEO watches porn and is reminded of the beauty of humanity, decides to get a real job

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in reply to @Webster's post:

eevee @lexyeevee2/6/2024, 7:30 PM

and that ceo's name? albert einstein

Quidam @Quidam2/6/2024, 7:32 PM

Oh god, where to begin unpacking this story.
Construction worker are not inferior citizen! Fuck.

Irenes (many)@ireneista2/7/2024, 2:39 AM

right???

@Rei2/6/2024, 7:34 PM

It really does rule that such an openly deceptive group of liars just has massive sway over the morality of western culture

ahundred T. wolfsatyr @wolfsatyr2/7/2024, 10:17 AM

i dunno what it does to ones faith in humanity but i like to believe that people who lie to children are actually dumb enough to just be repeating a story they believed

DoubleCakes @RobinsonNox2/6/2024, 7:39 PM

Was this story the inspiration for Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life?

@Rei2/7/2024, 2:38 AM

god there's such a good We Hate Movies on that, but it's also the only time that movie has ever come up so i assume you've listened to it lol

DoubleCakes @RobinsonNox2/7/2024, 4:49 AM

I heard about the movie before listening to the WHM episode but the podcast was the first time I got a thorough look into the absurdity of Cyber Seduction

invertigo hayfever @the-doomed-posts-of-muteKi2/7/2024, 8:22 AM

I want to punch that movie in the face. Execrable

Cliff 🦖 Pervocracy @pervocracy2/6/2024, 8:16 PM

construction manager: So, I had a look at your application and it seems like your work history is mostly in finance and senior leadership. We're really looking for someone who has more experience in framing and carpentry. But I'm curious, why the sudden career change?

guy: I looked at too many boobs and it made me stupid so now I need a stupid person job

construction manager:

guy: vaginas, also

Princess Flufflebutt @Princess-Flufflebutt2/6/2024, 8:20 PM

All I can read from this story is that a rich fuck saw porn and decided to actually contribute to society.

@be 35+05 @elegy-n2/7/2024, 2:47 AM

Holly Wednesday (Dr.)@doctorwednesday2/7/2024, 3:16 AM

Okay, so already, the idea that you have to be smart to be a CEO

JcDent @JcDent2/7/2024, 4:38 AM

He lost the company after clicking one of those "horny milfs in [your area]" banners and getting scammed so thoroughly the scammers felt uneasy.

JcDent @JcDent2/7/2024, 4:39 AM

Masturbation give him the upper body strength to do actual labor.

That briefcase is just full of tiddy mags.

@RaynarBrusk2/7/2024, 4:51 AM

When they tell such blatant lies it at least makes it easier to disregard every single other thing they tell you.

Lacey 🐇@SenshellShark2/7/2024, 9:31 AM

I don't know why I hadn't considered the possibility of a mormon private school before. Sounds like a full day of seminary. Scary!

taffy (still gay) 🐇@taffywabbit2/7/2024, 10:08 AM

there are mormon private schools??? <- (exmormon)

@AndreL2/7/2024, 8:36 PM

There were also CEO's who watched too much porn and became a cop, an American Indian, a GI, a biker, and a cowboy.

in reply to @NoelBWrites's post:

catastrophically yearning transfem-like lanky kong @lankyfromnowonbutprobablynot2/7/2024, 10:00 PM

Even if this is completely fabricated (by the teacher), this is still far better than 96% of the "restore your faith in humanity" headlines/stories I've seen

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