15. Growing up rich is a hereditary condition.
It affects 1% of people- Olga Koch
14. Keir Starmer
Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher- Sophie Duker
13. Gay people are very bad at maths.
We don't naturally multiply.- Lou Wall
12. I've got a girlfriend who never stops whining.
I wish I'd never bought her that vineyard- Roger Swift
11. I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person:
my pronouns are ‘there there’.- Sarah Keyworth
10. The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the
hallouminati.- Olaf Falafel
9. My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight.
I told her that she definitely had- Zoë Coombs Marr
8. I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg
and I think I've cracked it.- Masai Graham
7. British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow
when I get them out in Spoons?- Chelsea Birkby
6. My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” –
which, I think, speaks volumes- Olaf Falafel
5. I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton:
well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.- Mark Simmons
4. I sailed through my driving test.
That’s why I failed it.- Arthur Smith
3. Ate horse at a restaurant once - wasn’t great.
Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful.- Alex Kitson
2. I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like I'm progressing.
It's just one step forward... two steps back.- Alec Snook
1. I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship
but I bottled it.- Mark Simmons