πΆοΈ so, after some thinking about things and self reflection... we've made three notable updates to our system info page. one minor (we've decided to also use they/them in the plural sense as pronouns for our collective selves), one... actually, why don't you explain this one yourself?
π sure! so i felt like i wanted to add myself to the list officially, because i've gone a literal month now (what the fuck is time??!?!?) and haven't done so yet. partially because i've been without a name for myself.
and here comes our first, and somewhat unfortunate problem: after a few days of trying it out, i'm not sure if splash is the right name for me after all.
like, i'm incredibly thankful for everyone who helped me try it out! you're all cool and awesome and big thanks! but. i know how the others have felt about finding their name. and at first this felt so much like that, and it felt so right and me and everything and then suddenly. it didn't anymore. it's a good name! but right now, it feels only slightly more me than our legal name.
you might have noticed we kept splash on my bio. that's because while i don't think i want to keep it, it's still a perfectly usable transitional name for me to have somewhere to call home for now. perhaps i will replace it tomorrow, perhaps i won't find anything more fitting. for now, i'm fine with being called splash. i can wear that name with happiness for now :3
πΆοΈ as for our third update... hey. it's me. and i've had a couple bucketloads of brainworms to sort out. again.
the 'largest' update, text wise, is a rewrite of my bio to accommodate the changes i've gone through. the humanoid form is no longer my main form, and i wanted the bio to reflect that. and add the point that i'm now and then a bee. although we removed the line about me having done most written works here so far, considering beryl has been just as if not more interested in reading and writing than i have these last weeks, that was probably gonna change anyway. overall, mostly updates, and things y'all might have noticed.
nope, the biggest changes are in those three words right after my name. this bitch is trying some 'new' pronouns.
technically none of those are 'new' new? we still fall in the trap of thinking of me as the directest tie to our singlet self, something that is mostly held together at this point by us being attracted to the idea of being a demon a fair while before we explicitly split up, along with me being the first of us to describe myself as me in some sort. but we briefly used they/them for ourselves in between our egg cracking and us realizing we were trans (which took one damn month, it was a time), and he... well. our physical body, and a notable part of our identity, is transfem. i still consider that a core part of my own identity.
so when i accidentally though "oh, he" about myself earlier this week, and it felt surprisingly right? well. i did not take it all that well, to be honest. you would think that five years into knowing we do a little bit of gender in here that we had some acceptance of new pronouns popping up for us, buuut nah. the first reaction was stressed rejection from that transfem part of me.
it took a lot of thinking. it took some deliberate self reflection. but at the end of the day... we all fucking know pronouns aren't gender in here. (if you didn't know that before now... uhh now you know) i can try out he/him without it changing my actual gender too much. even before i went full monster i was the closest in here to going butch, and why not just go ahead and play with the pronouns a little? similarly to splash with toys name, if i don't like it i can always switch them back out. we're gonna try this for now. the worst thing that can happen is that i like it!
... so that's it for now. some small changes, some big. and to think all of this would still be unthinkable exactly half a year ago. guess it's true what they say: to be loved is to be changed.
and if there's anything we have here, it's love for ourselves.