we've once again stayed up too late, but we've done 3 of the 4 message things we had to do (which included an 80 minute pleasant phone call with our mom, we're incredibly lucky to have this good of an relationship with her and we very much enjoy it!), so we're gonna call that a win. now, it's back to a normaler week again....
and a goodbye for now to getting to freely use plural first person pronouns.
we might not have explicitly gone and said "yea, there's more of us in this body" (aside from very loudly implying it in a message after we left our friends- does saying "all of us" in an reference to yourself& count as coming out?), but after a rough start entirely of our own making (wear a coat.) we just said fuck it and made the pronoun switch. nobody really brought it up, but getting to just. explicitly acknowledge, even just for ourselves, that all of us are here? the idea of going back to singular first person pronouns after all that, in particular when it's not for one of us specifically (we haven't tested "vocally going into singular first person when any specific one of us wants to talk about itself"), just feels like it hits the same as the idea of misgendering ourselves. us talking has become a mess of where we can safely sneak in plural pronouns in between painful singular ones and attempts at cutting away the pain by awkwardly just not using any first person pronouns.
so to have the chance to freely go and be loud about we/us? amazing. fucking amazing. it was like back when we first got to be open about our gender, and we're honestly tearing up a little at losing this wonderful experience for now.
for now.
we don't know when, we're not sure how yet, but we very much yearn for that day when we can safely be our plural selves in public. and like everything, it's gonna take a little elbow grease to get there. first a little more gender, then we drop the funky animals on the world. be us.
but anyway, that's for future critters. present critters have to get up in way too little time. and are already exhausted. we'll see all of you around later!
