Because at this point I’ve known enough cis people who’ve Gotten It that they don’t have an excuse. Not only is cisness perfectly compatible with a healthy understanding of why someone might want to transition, most cis people I know have a happier, better relation to their own gender after doing this. And like, this describes a lot of people! Sure a lot of people have not done the work and kinda suck but do you know how many cis managers I’ve had at this point whose every word from their mouth I’ve loathed…who have never once struggled with my or anyone else’s pronouns. Of all the problems I’ve had with them, they got transness enough that it wasn’t one of them. Wild right?
I dislike this excuse both from trans people and cis people—in both instances it writes off understanding the way the world works as being something that’s only possible by getting rid of the life you had before. For me that worked well but for cis people…well they’re the gender they’re assigned at birth that’s not gonna work. But it doesn’t mean the thought exercise isn’t helpful.
Think, say, of a cis woman with pcos. For this woman conventional feminine aesthetics are harder to achieve bc of the extra testosterone in their bodies—stereotypically masculine weight gain patterns, extra body hair, etc. it can be distressing for many women who don’t want these things in a very similar way as gender dysphoria is. But this woman’s way of escaping that mental prison isn’t through not being a woman—that’s not the problem here is it. It’s that their appearance doesn’t match what’s in their head which, well…how can you not understand part of the trans experience then, that biology doesn’t determine something social like gender?
Both trans and cis people need to expect more from cis people and not write off their ability to see reality as impossible while being cis. It’s a cop out that distracts from important work