• they/them

I live in Portland and sometimes I make video games if I can find somebody who will pay me to do it.


I played No Man's Sky for a few hours when it first launched and didn't like it very much. But I know they've added a bunch of stuff to it since then and it seems to be generally considered good now, and I've been feeling in the mood for a game where I can just kinda zone out and explore, so I thought I'd give it another shot.

I started a new save because I didn't remember how to play and I figured there was probably new stuff in the beginning of the game. I turned off sentinels and predators but left the survival stuff on. It all seemed pretty familiar except that now you can build bases.

I'm maybe three or four hours into this new save and I'm feeling pretty much the same about the game as I did the first time: like I'm just grinding resources for no purposes other than to be able to grind more resources. I do feel somewhat motivated to get upgrades and stuff, because it's a video game and that's what you do, but I'm not really... having fun.

I can't really put my finger on what's bothering me about it. I feel the same way I do whenever I try an MMO: like I'm just doing the same things over and over but there's no point to any of it and there have got to be better things I could be doing with my time. But by that logic, I should feel that way about pretty much all video games, and I don't. Well, maybe a little bit. More than I used to. Maybe I'm just finally aging out of this hobby. Maybe making games my career has ruined them for me. I don't know.

I still have three more chapters of Fire Emblem to get through (plus some paralogues that I'm probably just going to ignore). I thought maybe I'd try to finish it this weekend so I wouldn't have that hanging over me anymore, but I don't think I'm up to it.

It's strange: I don't really get any enjoyment out of exploring the planets in No Man's Sky, but I used to enjoy exploring in Elite Dangerous. In both cases, the planets are procedurally generated, so I know that I'm not going to be surprised by anything I find. And the planets in Elite Dangerous have way less going on than the ones in No Man's Sky (there might be an occasional outpost but the vast majority of every planet is just lifeless terrain). Yet I found them much more interesting to explore.

Now I kinda want to play Elite Dangerous. But I'm afraid that if I do, I'll find that I don't get anything out of it anymore.


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