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lexyeevee
@lexyeevee
MintyFlur
@MintyFlur asked:

what's the most "anise" thing that anise has done before

oh my fucking god

okay so

pearl had a sensitive stomach, but she would eat kibble anyway, and then have tummyaches. (relatable.) we came up with a wet food she could eat, but it needed refrigerating, and it was time-consuming to make, so we didn't want the other cats to eat it. so we got a big dog cage to put the kibble in, and several times a day we would put the other cats in that cage while pearl ate her special princess food. (ok usually twigs shared it too, since he also tolerated it better than kibble, but it was really for pearl.)

(we would also regularly find pearl sticking her whole arm between the bars of the cage to perform a little heist on kibble the other cats had scattered around, which was very funny except that it gave her really noxious gas)

now, anise is very smart. he comes up with all kinds of ways to ask for things he wants. i feel like non-cat people hear this and think "he meows, maybe differently". ha ha! you fools. you absolute clowns

among others, anise found the following ways to ring the dinner bell:

  • find a mug on a nearby table and slowly push it towards the edge (and off, if we didn't catch him). sometimes with a paw, sometimes by just bracing his head against it and walking forwards

  • if we're watching tv or something: sit in the way of the tv, and if that doesn't work, start pawing at the switch. the nintendo switch. like he will just stand facing the cradle and pull at it with his paw until he knocks it over. alternatively he might try to climb the tv

  • a slight twist: last year when i was feeding him prince food, sometimes he would knock my phone off my desk. i don't know how he does it but he can identify the most fragile and expensive item

the most annoying thing about this is if we go "anise!!" at him when he is on the cusp of destroying something, he will immediately stop, freeze, turn, and stare directly at us, as if to say, oh do you get it yet? and then if we don't get up he will go right back to it in five seconds. he knows exactly what he is doing

ANYWAY

the most anise thing anise has ever done is

one time we got groceries and ash got this big jar of marinara sauce they wanted to try. it was in a mildly fancy jar, narrow but tall, like the cross-section of a soda can but more like a foot tall.

it was left on the kitchen table for later while we, i dunno, went and did other stuff

and i was sitting at my desk later when i heard

"aowrr!" CRASH

and i look over and the kitchen floor is fucking slathered in a half-inch layer of red sauce and broken glass

and anise is just standing on the table

staring at me

to see if he got my attention


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in reply to @lexyeevee's post:

kind of related, my cat loved to chew things, he wasn't trying to get attention, he just really liked to chew cables or bite and pull the fibres out of a carpet

which isn't really the point, just, he had these habits and they were bad and inconvenient and he did them for different reasons but he still did them

but the thing is if you said his name or "NO!" in a really disapproving tone he would instantly stop and look at you and emit the saddest meow that he only ever used for that exact situation, he never made that exact sound any other time, and he would do it consistently in response

he knew he was doing bad things! he knew i was telling him to stop because he would stop! and he had a specific vocal response for "i got caught and the humans are annoyed at me" that like, presumably he was using to communicate... something? because why else would he have a specific meow for it?

anyway they're weird little guys and they understand way more than a lot of people give them credit for

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