So FFXIV was my first MMO ever, and I only started playing because of the glamour (read: fashion) system. Overall? Fantastic time, met some excellent people to hang out with.

I'll address some elephants in the room, starting with raid anxiety. I had it in spades when I first began, especially knowing that most of the players in the static were really good. It's one thing to join a raiding team, another to start off and immediately realize "holy shit, you're the WORST player in the party - and they KNOW."

But it is what it is. And I think it's far more important to embrace that fact rather than fear it. So I spent some hours practicing, and even swapped to a more complex job for better utility. In the end, it's about developing that muscle memory (and this is something you can work on in your own time) and getting into the right mindset.

(Photo Credit: Slugger Smolboi)

The next big elephant breathing down your back is that raiding is a collaborative effort. In FFXIV, there are a lot of "body checks" - meaning that certain mechanics have to be executed correctly by every single member of the team or the entire party dies. Everyone might know the mechanic, but reacting to variations on the fly while pressing the right buttons for your rotation and potentially dealing with mistake recovery? Things get spicy fast. And look - people make mistakes. People make STUPID mistakes too. It's more important to think of every pull attempt as a fresh start rather than dwell on who's doing badly, because it really could just be a difficult session for them. (maybe they're sick. maybe things in life aren't going so great and it's difficult to separate baggage from gameplay. there's a plethora of reasons)

My answer to that? Stop focusing on the goal and try enjoying the moment. Yes, it's important to keep comms clear (meaning don't talk when the raid leader is calling out mechanics) but in between, I think it's best to keep things lighthearted. It helps if you've got a bunch of jokers in the group. Call early breaks if you have to, remember to stay hydrated, and I usually try to tell funny stories during the downtime, especially if I feel the mood is a bit dour.

(Photo Credit: Slugger Smolboi)

(Note: If your raid group is actually toxic, you should leave. A good way of knowing if someone is toxic is the simple two-step test.

1) Do you feel like you lack the mental resilience to deal with this person?

2) Do you feel like you can't change this person's mind?

If you answer yes to both these questions, then yes, they're toxic.)

(Photo Credit: Slugger Smolboi)

And the last elephant in the room--you know, the one poking their tusks into your shoulder blades--is the difficult nature of the content. You're going to hit really big walls that feel insurmountable.

Here's what happened during our prog (read: progression):

1. We kept making silly mistakes, leading to entire sessions where we didn't get to learn any new content
2. We lost a team member
3. I went to Sydney (my friends took me fine dining, pretended it was my birthday, and I got a card and a cake out of it - overall bill was $551 AUD what the fuck)
4. Our static leader went to Europe for a month (AND DUNKED HIS HEAD HARD BY JUMPING HEADFIRST INTO THE SNOW)
5. We swapped out another member (the new person who joined was cool beans though, I like them)
6. We lost a team member again
7. Another player was forced to change their in-game role
8. An electrician BORKED one of our player's computers, then their ordered replacement computer parts came late
9. I caught the COBBID (urghhh)
10. We all got a little bit burned out. And you know what they say about burnout - the moment you start feeling a little burned out, you're already burnt out.

(Photo Credit: Slugger Smolboi)

But I think being able to deal with that makes you a better person. You're going to end up with a lot of setbacks in life, so why not learn to handle it in a safe environment? The boss you're fighting is an asshole, things will never turn out the way you want it to, and you're going to accidentally say something faux pas. Life = Raid and Raid = Life. But really - whats the worst that can happen in a raid? If your team wipes, just shrug and say "oh well" and start again. If you make a mistake, just admit to it and say "yeah, that was my bad! I'll remember next time" (you won't, but make it a point of hilarity and move on).

In the end, I wouldn't have it any other way.