if you're in the business of moderating or maintaining a community, you need to do actual moderation.
i hear from a lot of people — and if you're thinking i'm talking about you, it's probable — that "oh, [random user] in [place] is doing [unwanted thing]"
have you told them this?
have you said, "hey, please stop doing [thing]"?
have you taken any disciplinary steps at all?
no? then you are the problem as much as they are.
if you are not providing feedback on some level, then you are de-facto allowing that behavior. you are complicit in it. even if you whine and complain and constantly talk in private about how much of a problem [person] is because [thing], if you do not actually take steps to stop it, you are just as much at fault.
they have no way of knowing they're getting on your nerves. that's what you are supposed to tell them.
with love, someone who is sick to fucking death of people telling me "boy, [x] in [y]'s chat (in which i am a mod) keeps doing things to make [y] unhappy."
THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
maintaining a community or a space is like maintaining a garden: if you do not go through and take the time to pull the weeds, no matter how much love and care you show it, it's going to get taken over by weeds.
