How the absolute heck is one supposed to appropriately train one's voice?
More details under the cut, if you wish, but I'm mostly just looking for any guidance after years of training wrong.
I'm very interested in vocal feminization - To the point that I took lessons for years. But here's the thing about that: My vocal trainer, while I was exceptionally fortunate to have one provided by my health provider, was much more of a speech therapist than a vocal coach. Meaning that while he helped me a lot, he admitted he was much more about helping people regain vocal health and capability than he was about feminization or tuning. In the end he tried to recommend to me (repeatedly) that I join one or two of the massive voice training Discord servers, but that's just...
Look. I find that massively intimidating.
What's more, trying to search out resources online is incredibly overwhelming. Not only are there multiple places that people recommend, but each one seems to have its own terminology, technique, and list of "Never Do This Or You'll Hurt Your Voice!!!", making it extremely challenging to understand which is the best route to take. And also just, like, overwhelming the mental stack from the get go? Like, having the introduction to voice training be a two-hour terminology breakdown is useful in theory, but in practice it just makes everything feel all the more overwhelming and impossible.
I've been trying to put in the practice, too. On the extremely rare occasions I use my voice online, it's always with friends, and I always use it as time to use femme voice. But when I catch a bit of my own voice leaking through their headphones, holy shit do I sound awful. Meaning that the two years I was working with my therapist did basically jack all. What's more, even after two or so hours, I can feel my throat starting to get upset - Which tells me I'm doing it wrong.
Anyhow. My baseline voice is fucking awful, a booming baritone that mocks me and makes me feel more dysphoric than anything else ever could. Trying and failing to control my voice, putting years of effort into trying to get something that feels better, and essentially getting nothing for the effort but a fake excuse that sounds like a college frat bro doing a misogynistic bit, hurts my soul.
So I'd massively appreciate any help anyone could offer.
