let us go out this evening for pleasure, the night is still young.


i feel like every six weeks or so i get this urge to just write all of my thoughts about metal gear solid v: the phantom pain down as a way of excising them from my brain. that game's been living in my head rent-free since i first played it in 2015 (jesus christ), and i've gone from confusion, to disappointment, to acceptance, to thinking it may be (whether intentionally or unintentionally) The Most Important Game for This Moment in Time. the fact that it's "unfinished" is beside the point -- or that is to say, it is the point, but not in the way people think.

one of these days i will probably delve deeper into it -- the way it deals with the fickle nature of fandom and its unceasing cries for what it deems an Acceptable Sequel; the way it deals with capital-T Truth and how our understanding of events (both local and global) can be influenced to suit our own biases; the way it experiments with narrative form to deliberately create something that is designed, on purpose, to make the player feel unfulfilled; and so on.

i honestly feel like i could get a book out of all the ideas this game has made me think about but i do not feel smart enough nor do i have a long-enough attention span to actually sit down and put this jumble of thoughts together into something coherent. though i do want to write something, eventually. i'll probably post it here on cohost when i do, seems like a good place for it. maybe i'll get an itch to replay it again at the end of the year like i did last year, and i'll start breaking things down then.

"i won't scatter your sorrow to the heartless sea." fuck. it's just so good.


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in reply to @davidrobots's post:

This is exactly my problem when I want to write about why I can't stop re-watching Revue Starlight. Completely different themes, obviously, but there's a similar depth and nuance to the things it says and the way it says them that I feel arrogant for wanting to write out my own interpretation.

i think the most important thing is to just give yourself the time to think something out, write down whatever comes to mind, then give it space to breathe so you can go back in later with a fresh mind and edit. that'll help give you the thread you need to connect everything together. time is always the most important part but it's also the hardest, i find.